Work Life Balance: 4 Tips for How to Leave Work at Work

As a working mom, I can find it very difficult sometimes to leave work and the stress associated with it behind at the end of the day. I think we all know intuitively it is good for ourselves and our relationships to leave work at the office, but the physical concept of how to leave work at work is maybe a little less obvious.

When the lines between work and home or family get blurred, everything and everyone start to get affected. You come home from work irritable and short-tempered with your family from a bad day or high stress. Maybe your son is trying to demand attention or tell you about the awesome fort he and his friends made and your mind is thinking about when you get back online to finish that deadline. Or you’re otherwise trading time you could be doing dishes, paying bills, sleeping or bonding with your family because you’re glued to a laptop.

The thing is, you as a parent, need to be your child’s safe space. Your home needs to be your sanctuary, for yourself and your children. Work is such an intertwined part of life, and it is often necessary for survival, but it also doesn’t have to seep into everything else you do. It doesn’t have to define you, and it doesn’t have to rule you.

Effective tips for how to leave work at work so you can enjoy your time at home:

Here are some effective tips for learning how to leave work stress at work; how to leave work anxiety at work; as well as to just plain how to leave work at work.

Schedule your day.

Plan ahead for how long you’re going to be at work. Let your colleagues know when you’ll be in the office, or logged into your laptop. Put it on your calendar. When the time comes to put it down, physically close your laptop, and ignore your phone and e-mails. The world won’t stop spinning if you sit down to dinner with your family and let an e-mail come in without an immediate response.

You know that you’ll pick things up the next day, so accept that the work can wait until you get back. Because here’s the thing: work will always be there. If it’s not this job, its another. But within you current job, there will always be work to do, there will always be someone who needs you, and there will always be a deadline to hit. Ignoring your boundaries of home time to get “one more thing” done won’t cause the stuff to go away. Instead, it’ll tell others you can handle the work load and they will give you even more. So train yourself on this. When the day is done, let the day be done. This is crucial for learning how to leave work on time.

• If you have to initially schedule family time or alone time, do it. You’ll soon begin to enjoy the rewards of scheduled time off.

• If you have a separate work phone: turn it off the minute you log off for the day. Your messages will still be there in the morning when you start your workday again.

Remember too, that being a mom is a job as well. Try to learn how to set boundaries for your children. After you put them to bed, tell them Mommy hours are over, and it’s time for you to relax. Over time and with consistency, most children will understand and respect these parameters. Other people who need you will learn to respect your boundaries as well.

Separate your work area.

Learning how to leave work at work when you work from home can feel more daunting than the work itself sometimes. As our society transitions more and more to a remote work posture, it’s becoming harder to separate the two lives. One of the most important ways to help you distance yourself from work once work hours are over is by keeping your work area physically separate from your family area.

• Establish your work area in a dedicated workroom, or separate your work area with a wall or a room divider. This is so you’re not pulled back to your work area when you’re interacting with your family.
• If you don’t have a dedicated space you can work, create a space out of the way for your laptop. When you are done with your day, move your laptop out of the family space and into that space. Then close it so you aren’t tempted to log in if and when you see it.

Change your clothes.

If your work has certain standards in its attire, then one physical barrier you can create for your mind is to change into more comfortable clothing at home. This creates a boundary in your mind, automatically giving your brain a signal to relax.

• Whether you wear a uniform, business wear, or jeans, changing your clothes is a mental indicator that work time is up.
• Take your shoes off at the door and maybe even keep a cozy pair of slippers nearby so you can get comfortable immediately after you come into the door.

This can be harder if we work from home. You might already be wearing comfortable clothes and slippers. Try to get dressed every day for work, as that in itself can increase remote work productivity. And if that still doesn’t work, see if you can create some other physical barrier that can signal your brain to be done for the day. For example, like I mentioned above, try closing your laptop or the office door for the day when you log off.

Give yourself time to de-stress.

You can just sit in the chair and read a good book, do a quick meditation, or go for a walk. Whatever your method is to de-stress, make sure you’ve given yourself time for it when you schedule your day.

• If you typically get pummeled by your kids the moment you walk in the door, try to arrange with your spouse or kids to allow a few minutes to de-stress.

• Use your commuting time to de-stress, especially if you use public transit. Listening to your iPod or just daydreaming out the window can make a world of difference in your mood. If you don’t have a commute, one of my favorite things is to fake a commute for your brain. This can easily be done by going for a quick walk or bike ride. The fresh air and the time away from the laptop can help you de-stress. In addition, it will create the chemical trigger in your brain to make the switch to family time.

Note that time to de-stress is not the same as trying to escape. The goal is not escapism. The goal is a few minutes of self-care to reset your energy vibes. If you’re not sure about the difference between self-care and escapism, check out these posts here and here. It’s important too, to not stay in de-stress mode for the entire evening. Take some dedicated time to rejuvenate; then jump in feet first to take part with the family once you’ve cleared your mind.

Learning how to leave work at work can be so important for your own mental well-being, as well as for your relationship with your family. Four ways to start to create the boundary between work and home is to create a schedule, separate your work space inside the home, change your clothes at the end of the day, and take a few minutes to de-stress.

Treat yourself with the respect you deserve, create those boundaries, and as the expectations become more familiar for everyone, that stress at the end of the day will start to stay at work and stop seeping into your home life. You’ll find so much peace of mind once you realize that you don’t have to be married to your job. Don’t let the boss run your world outside of work. You’ll be happier, healthier and more productive when you take time for yourself and your family.